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I was first going to suggest a maid, still a good idea, but once a week won't help, there be soda cans lying around for a week. Look, he's an adult. Tell him plain and simple that until he can learn to act like one he's not moving in. (Which means he needs to start establishing a track record while living on his own, don't accept lame promises to "do better," demand results.) You be allowing him to live like a lazy teenager, playing video games and not picking up after himself. Aren't your standards for a partner higher than that? It's not hard to learn to throw something in the recycling and to put your dishes in the sink. If living with you depends on some simple actions on his part i would it would be worth it to him to invest in some change. It takes weeks to develop new habits. He's lazy, not mentally ill. don't move in with him thinking you can play some game like "I'll go on strike and then he'll learn." No, passive bullshit won't cut it. HE doesn't care how disgusting his living space is. You need to tell him that you expect every evening your living space is clear of trash, dishes and clutter and there are no dishes in the sink. How hard is that? Your choices are lower your standards til you're miserable or ask him to raise his to simple "adult" status. I know what I'd do.